Well, boys and girls, it's finally happened. The inescapable march of progress has finally caught up to panto - and contrary to all of your worst fears, it wasn't anything to do with Twitter or Chinese costumes or Aladdin that's upset the applecart, it's Artificial Intelligence - so you can all put down your union jacks and pick up your... sonic screwdrivers (I don't actually know how a computer works, which is rather hampering my search for an appropriate metaphor.)
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A1 panto, the first pantomime to be staged on a major thoroughfare since the disastrous M6 panto pile up of 2012 |
"If you think you understand Artificial Intelligence, you don't understand artificial intelligence" Richard Feynman, Misquoted
If your last encounter with AI was asking ChatGPT to write you a limerick about your cat in 2022, then you're so out of date you might as well be advertising a production of Snow White with a poster than names all average-height cast and none of the performers who are little people. (Ahem, Rochdale...)
AI has moved fast. The models available today are genuinely different beasts from what you remember. They can hold conversations that span multiple scenes, remember what magical powers you've given your fairy across sixty pages of text, and read a whole script faster than some agency's can submit their entire client list to a Spotlight casting call.
If you've kept your eye out, you've probably already noticed the long tendrils of AI creeping into view: the strangely generic poster designs, the suspiciously ubiquitous marketing copy, the suddenly erudite emails from agents asking to make provisions in your contracts even though those exact provisions are already explicitly made in the contract.
And not everyone's trying to hide it either... the first live-production AI written panto will be hitting our stages this Christmas thanks to Tom Beard who I interviewed for this blog (more to follow)
My Sceptic Pegs
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This year's panto will be written by a man... ... or a woman... ... or a computer... |
3 predictions for AI and pantomime 2025:
1) You WILL see AI-written scenes and lines in pantos this year. Possibly a whole script. For some productions, this might actually be a step up.
I'm not being facetious: I've seen comments in panto forums where the advice given to writers was "try to have a joke on every page of the script." which sounds pretty lean for a comedy. The AI might not be very funny, but at least you don't have to set a timer on your watch to wake you up for the next joke!
2) We're going to see lots of jokes about AI this Christmas. Not everyone's talking about AI, but lots of non-theatre, office job, 'norms' (I call them) are all about it - and they all buy panto tickets. If you're not making jokes about AI (because you're recycling material you wrote in the 90s), you're missing a trick: there are some great laughs to have, and it's current so it'll connect with your audience.
3) There'll be creatives looking for work. Nearly every job's getting easier if you use the AI. From making backing tracks to posters. People with work are going to take more on, people scouting for work are going to find less about.
"AI isn't creative"
I've heard this, and sentiments like it, said by very clever people I admire and trust. Now I just admire them. They clearly don't have a clue what they're talking about!
The new AI's are incredibly creative, and very clever. They have some drawbacks, for sure... they're not particularly funny for a start, which is a bit of a hurdle when it comes to writing panto. However, that's not to say it's a write-off. Here are two big things AI can do which maks a muckle:
1) It doesn't sleep and it loves a read through. There's nothing worse than getting in the zone, turning out a scene that is either genius or tat, and then having to wait for other people with voices to be available before you find out which it is. With AI, you can chuck a draft at it at 11 o'clock at night and get thoughtful, detailed feedback. No waiting for your dramaturge to have a free evening or wrangling actors into a room for a read-through. It's always available, and it'll give you something interesting and thoughtful that you can take or reject as you see fit.
"What shall we do with him boys and girls? 100100100111!" 2) Structure and dramaturgy: Successful script writing is 90% structure, 10% words. Top end AIs are great at structure. Not only have they read every script that's ever been published, they've read all the theory, and they apply it! It's like having a very keen PhD student who never needs sleep and has read every play ever written. It'll spot character inconsistencies faster than you can blink, and it's brilliant at asking the right questions about your world-building and character development.
e.g. Recently, after finishing a draft of the The Pied Piper, I chucked the whole thing at Claude (an AI by Anthropic) which suggested that maybe the Pied Piper could be the fairy's brother. Now, I hadn't thought of that, and it had genuine dramatic implications worth exploring. I didn't go for it. But I considered it! And surely that has some value of its own.
"AI's gonna put us all out of business!"
Probably, but not quite yet. In my experience (and I've been playing around with it a bit), AI's a great tool but it needs a steady hand at the tiller and an experienced eye on the sextant.
Here's what's holding it back at the moment:
1. It isn't funny. Not only is it not funny, it thinks it is. Which is particularly irksome. It can give you a pun (at a push... for best results, ask for 10 and pick 1) but words are it's forte. It hasn't seen slapstick, it's read it, which makes it bad at understanding what makes the audience laugh.
I must be funny - I'm made of silly con! |
2. It doesn't know your audience. Things that go down a treat in Manchester would fall flat on their face in Surrey. You know your audience - write something for them. AI will churn out generics all day, but your audience deserve better.
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Me as Nanny having a great time meeting the community at the Contact Theatre, Oxford Road |
3. It doesn't understand timing. In fact, it doesn't understand time. It is episodic (imagine it coming awake every time you type in the box, and then immediately sleeping after it answers). When it reads your words and offers feedback like "this bit is too long", it doesn't know how long it will take. Sometimes you write a dame/comic section that rattles along at 30secs a page, and other times you write "mayor crosses the stage" and it takes your actor 5 minutes (Hello Ian!). Don't take its word for it on timing... use your nous!
4. It's never produced a show. I know this sounds obvious, but it's important to remember. Writing a panto isn't just about putting words on a page. Your'e considering all kinds of things: costume changes, specific actors, backstage madness. AI doesn't know that you need three people to hoover flour out of the dame's knickers after the baking scene.
e.g. after writing a draft of Pied Piper, I gave it to the AI, who (quite rightly) pointed out act 1 scene 6 required a whole new location, bit didn't move on the plot very much. It wasn't telling me anything I didn't know - I told the AI that I'd added the scene not out of narrative purity, but because (i) I wanted another dame costume change in act 1, (ii) I needed a place for KY Kelly to sing a big number, (iii) it gave me some slapstick time. I even showed it the scene I had before I changed it. "Oh, yes!" it effused. "This is hilarious. Much better. You should definitely change this back!" And I did. The blinking computer flattered me into backpedaling. Only once my draft was in pieces and difficult to repair did I realise, for all the same reasons I realised before, the best thing to do was to add a cottage scene! Ugh! What a time waster!
5. It's not you! It doesn't know the things you know. It doesn't have your rhythms and your sense of humour. Sure, it's read the whole internet, and there are definitely some panto scripts on there (more am dram than professional) it probably hasn't read yours. Because panto is a commercial art form, scripts (particularly successful scripts) are kept under lock and key... this gives the AI a very one sided knowledge base... worth remembering!
!REMEMBER!
Writing is 90% structure. The lines are only 10%.
I know, I know. The lines are super important. But people get hung up on dialogue and ignore the structure, and when you train as a professional, it's all about structure first. Character development, plot architecture, thematic consistency - all of that comes before you write a single line of dialogue.
Case in point: I just did a commission for Bolton Octagon. My finished script was 30-40 pages. My prep notes before I started writing? 90 pages. That gives you an idea of where the real work happens.
If you're sitting down expecting to write a script by bashing out dialogue, you're doing it wrong. All the prep stuff - which is 90% of the job - doesn't involve writing words. It involves thinking, planning, character work, research, structural decisions.
The actual writing of dialogue is technically demanding and fiddly, sure. You're thinking about accent, rhythm, scansion, jokes, and trying to navigate the plot you've constructed. It might take more than 10% of your time, but it's only 10% of the actual job.
Which means the Great AI Panic might be missing the point entirely.
If your process begins with sitting down and typing "SCENE 1", then yes, AI might replace you. But that's like worrying that calculators will replace mathematicians.
The real question is: where does AI excel in that 90% structural work, and where does it fall flat? My experience suggests it's brilliant at some aspects of structural work (plot consistency, character tracking) but terrible at others (understanding theatrical conventions, local knowledge, audience-specific humor).
Top tips for using AI Successfully
If you're going to use AI for any kind of pantomime work - and I suspect many of you will, whether you admit it publicly or not - here are my top tips for getting the best out of it!
Start with questions, not scripts. Get the AI to interrogate your concept first:
- Ten important questions about each character
- Ten questions about the world, place, and location
- Help developing your theme - what is this play actually about?
This stops you diving in feet first and forces you to refine your own ideas. You might discover plot developments just by answering character questions.
Use it as a reviewer, not a ghostwriter. There's a massive difference between asking AI to write your lines and asking it to read your draft and give you feedback. The latter can be genuinely valuable - it's like having a very well-read, slightly pedantic colleague who's always available.
Be stalwart in your defense of local knowledge. This year in Bury, our wonderful comic: Toby West is coming back. He's Scouse, but we don't hold that against him. I've written him the line: "Do you know which part of Bury I'm from? The bit that's next to Liverpool." The audience roars because they know exactly what he means. AI wants to cut that line because it doesn't understand the local context. You need to fight for those moments.
The All-AI Pantomime That's Got Everyone's Knickers in a Twist
Which brings me to the ever entrepreneurial Tom Beard, who's creating what might be the most controversial panto of the year. His concept? Twenty-minute audience workshop where punters shout out mad ideas ("a banana that thinks it's French," "broccoli that's king of the world"), AI writes a 45-minute panto incorporating everything, performed immediately script-in-hand - think panto-meets-improv with a bag full of appropriately whacky props.
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LP Creative's very creative new concept! FUN FACT: The first AI panto was staged in 1783 "AI-Addin." |
It's definitely interesting. No wonder everybody has an opinion about it. I asked the obvious question: what about all the good stuff you get with rehearsals? You'll lose all of it!
"I don't know if the trade-off's worth it," he told me with refreshing honesty. "It's a coin flip." But when it works, he says, it's funny - not because it's good, but because it's beautifully, quirkily wrong.
The AI knows pantomime structure but can't execute properly. It creates what he called "comedy cul-de-sacs" that go nowhere, like having the comic greet the audience with "Hello, you bunch of soggy turnips!" - technically a comedian's greeting, but missing the mark entirely. As he put it: "Like AI robots boxing and kicking in midair and missing."
The industry's reaction? Physical threats. Expelled from Facebook groups. The pantomime community's response has been, shall we say, robust. But for him, this controversy IS the marketing strategy. And honestly? Fair play to him.
His secret sauce is an experienced cast who work live TV and radio and can think on their feet. "If I had a cast just reading blankly off paper, it would be terrible," he said. It's basically improv with AI-generated starting points rather than blank slates.
The man's venues include Comedia for five days, plus school shows where students create props in advance as class projects. And you know what? I hope he sells every bloody ticket, because at least he's trying something new in an industry that sometimes seems allergic to innovation.
A cheeky little secret for those that stayed till the end: That last bit, under the title The All-AI Pantomime That's Got Everyone's Knickers in a Twist. I didn't write that. The AI did. I just gave it a transcript of the interview and asked it to match my tone... Could you tell? I told you it had got a lot better!
Tldr;
- AI isn't going anywhere, so learn to use it properly
- It's brilliant at the 90% (structure) but needs careful handling on the 10% (lines)
- Your local knowledge and audience understanding are your competitive advantages
- Bad pantos might get better with AI help, but good pantos still need human-driven creativity
- The cottage scene stays in the script, thank you very much
- If you're still worried about AI taking over pantomime, you're probably worrying about the wrong thing