Defending Aladdin: The Argument for Diversity and Inclusion

“Multiculturalism makes no demands of the incomer to integrate.  It has failed because it allowed people to come to our society and live parallel lives in it … And, in extreme cases, they could pursue lives aimed at undermining the stability and threatening the security of society.”

Stella Braverman (victim of autocorrect), 2023

EXCLUSIVE pantoblog make-your-own Stella Braverman bookmark template

It's the quote that everyone in politics wants to talk about.  No sooner had The Bravermeister spouted her talking points, tory MPs have put in formal complaints to the chief whip, the former Home Secretary and the Prime Minister have distanced himself from her comments and even the Bishop of Leicester is having a go at her!

Deary me, Stella... you know you're in political hot water when the Church of England AND the Conservative Party are briefing against you!

Of course, electorally the whole debacle is political genius.  The fear that multiculturalism is undermining indigenous British culture is far from a fringe view (This now out of date article cites the finding that 40% of UK residents surveyed agree with this position).  Having senior cabinet members playing both sides of the issue allows the party to hoover up votes from both camps.

Whatever your position, at least we can all agree that there IS such a thing as indigenous British culture, and panto is definitely part of it.

Last week I gave a talk at Staffs Uni about patterns of ethnic diversity relating to submission for panto auditions.  Honest, guv... here's the picture to prove it:

Voted best looking presenter 2023, Staffs Uni (Pantomime Casting category)

I got the train down, and got chatting to the guy sat opposite me.  His name was Mohammed, he was 40 years old and his mum and dad had immigrated to the UK from Pakistan after the partition of India and settled in the Wirral (why would anyone settle in the Wirral?  Not even Mohammed knew that!)  We had a lot in common - apart from both having lived within 3 miles of Birkenhead, we'd both moved to London and then moved back up North.  Presumably because everyone in the North is friendly, down-to-earth and incredibly attractive, where-as Londoners are rich and in a hurry.

"How long were you down South?" I asked.

"Eight years," answered Mohammed.

"Blimey, I can't believe it took you that long to realise it's better up North," I jibed.

"Well, it is now," he replied.

NOW?!  I was gobsmacked.  Surely this was sacrilege.  The North has always been better than the South!  What did he mean?

Luckily he explained... 

"When I was a kid, we were the only non-white family around.  I felt like I didn't fit in.  I preferred it in London because I had friends and family there - people who looked like me.  However, the Wirral has changed a lot since I first moved away.  Now, there are loads of people from all over the place.  It feels more multicultural.  I prefer it."

Britain is changing

Unless you've just arrived on the island, chances are you remember a Britain that is less diverse than it is today, and in a few years time, you will be living in a Britain that is even more ethnically diverse.

Census data for England and Wales shows that, from 2001 to 2021 the percentage of people in the white British ethnic group went down from 87.5% to 74.4%

Of interest to anyone thinking of staging Aladdin in China, in the same period, the proportion of the population that self identify their ethnicity as Chinese went up from 0.4% of the population in 2001 to 0.7% of the population in 2021 (445,646 souls in total).

It's a bit trickier to backtrack further than this, as the categorisation of ethnicity by the census changes.  This breakdown by Manchester University shows that since 1991 the proportion of the UK population that is not white has doubled from roughly 7% to 14% today, but this is the first year that the census has a well-defined question about ethnicity.

Immigration is not a new phenomenon.  This website shows some great photos of UK residents with a wide range of ethnicities from as far back as the turn of the 20th century.  But, these cases are notable because of their rarity.  The trend is clear: the slice of the UK population that is white and UK-born is getting slimmer.

So what does that mean for panto?  What does it mean for Aladdin?

Well, it depends on who you ask.

Some people love a traditional Aladdin.

- Someone with excellent taste in panto

Other people think that Aladdin should be retired completely.

Feeling Yellow

As Britain diversifies, so too will theatre audiences.  If panto is to survive into the next century, it will need to connect with next century's audience... an audience that will likely look very different to today's.

One paper I read that I found really enlightening was from an Asian-American writer describing how reading through a Broadway programme put her on edge:

“I felt anxious as I waited for the actors to enter the stage so that I could locate identity in their faces, a reductive yet routine way of deducing race. Anxiety turned into dismay, as I registered a white actor embodying one of the Flying Lings. Instead of donning bronzer and eye prostheses, the more blatant markers of yellowface, he matched the other performers in wearing black changshan with yellow-gold trim. Relying upon the costumes to do the labor of signifying Asianness, the production gave the performers greater ease to put on and take off racialized markers.” 

Donatella Galella, Feeling Yellow: Responding to Contemporary Yellowface in Musical Performance  

Of course, that's America.  Thank goodness things are different over here.  

Aren't they?

Hilarious: Even though this image was generated by AI, I'm sure that I recognise the actors

 

One prominent voice in UK theatre protesting against Yellowface is Daniel York Loh.  He describes 

"A friend recently attended Aladdin with his niece at a regional theatre and was shocked  and upset by the sight of Caucasian cast members in 'yellow face' - full-on Chinese costumes and make-up.  Like me, my friend is of Chinese descent.  Another Asian friend of mine walked out of another production of Aladdin in a different regional theatre because he felt the content was racist.  He was even targeted from the stage as he was leaving the theatre - he and his young son were the only non-white people in the audience."

Daniel York Loh, 2018

REALLY?  I mean, maybe in the 80s... when people did the Chinese language test and the funny voice and the yellow make-up.   But TWO nearly identical occasions of people feeling like they had to walk out?  As someone who doesn't have people walk out of their shows - it seems to stretch credulity.  Seriously, how bad are other people's pantos?

I had to investigate...

I read a dozen commercially available scripts for Aladdin.  They're not necessarily the most performed, or ones from the biggest theatres, but all the scripts I reviewed have been/are being performed somewhere in the UK and they are all being hired out for money.  

And err...

Ahem...

I hate to disappoint you all, but I gotta agree with DYL.

If the scripts that I've read are anything to go by, I would walk out of most Aladdin's.  It's not that the scripts are racist per se.  It's more that they are crap.

I'm not going to embarrass anyone by name.  But if you have written a script of Aladdin and want to try and figure out if I've read it or not, here is a handy list:

Generic Asian image 

5 Ways to tell if your script of Aladdin is Crap (IMHO)*

• It is simultaneously set in China, Tibet, Arabia and India as though these are all one country,
• Wishee Washee is described as a <insert Chinese food> short of a take-away, several times, just with different foods,
• Instead of jokes that are related to the plot, characters just name things that are Chinese,
• The characters names are types of food, or references to testicles, despite the fact that it has nothing to do with their characters.  They may even have different names in different scenes!
• Somebody sings Kung Fu Fighting even though the scene has nothing to do with Kung Fu

*(If you think the portrayal of Chinese people is problematic... you'll be floored at the depictions of women!)

I'm not Chinese and I was cringing.  No wonder people are walking out!  

"When encountering non-Asians masquerading as Asians in yellow face in twenty-first-century stage musical performances, I feel righteously angry, profoundly sad, and racially alienated."

Donatella Galella, ibid. 

People don't like to feel left out.  They like to be included.  If you are making a panto that doesn't make people feel included, not only are you likely to get bawled out on X née Twitter, you aren't doing yourself any favours at the box office.

Of course, you don't have to set it in China.  Andrew Jackson's script ditches the Emperor of China in favour of a General of Pantoland.  If you aren't sold on that, another clever idea comes from Dave Crump's very competent NODA script who does set the plot in China, but casts the characters as Brits:

"Wishee: If this is Peking Mom, how come none of us are Chinese? 

 

Twankey: China is the fastest growing country in the world, lots of Brits moved here, it’s practically full of people from Sutton Coldfield."

Dave Crump,  great script!

These approaches may not be traditional but the scripts are good! 

Does that mean we can't set Aladdin in China?  No.  But we can't use 'tradition' as a smokescreen for churning out the same old, tired crap.  It's lazy, it's otherising and if nothing else: it's boring.

Generic image of writing specifically

5 Ways to do Something Better

• Do your research,
• Be specific, ("Oriental" or "Asian" is not a homogenous melting pot)
• Write characters, not stereotypes
• Write your own jokes about what's going on in the plot
• For the love of God, just call the policemen something else other than Prawn and Cracker... if you can't think of anything better, you can have my idea: PC World and Sergeant Pepper.  No copyright, you're welcome.

Well, that's my twopennethworth.  I suppose I'll see you all in the comments section, and I'll give the last word to DYL

"Nobody’s looking to dumb down panto. By acknowledging and taking into account the cultural melting pot that is modern Britain, I would argue that we’re asking it to be more appreciative of complex racial and societal nuance."

Daniel York Loh, 2018

 

Panto isn't for kids, you 'nana!

The Biggest Lie in Pantomime

If there's one prevalent myth that needs busting, it's that pantomimes are for kids.

They aren't.

At least, our pantos aren't.  

Of course, there are producers who make pantos for kids.  That's why their pantos are crap. 

Ours are much better than that... our pantomimes are family entertainment.

This is a point I often have to iterate when I come across panto-refuseniks and try to persuade them to come along.

"I don't have any kids to bring with me," they say - as though that's a reasonable excuse not to snap up a ticket.

"You don't need to bring any kids," I explain.  "Family entertainment just means it's suitable for families.  It's really great fun for grown ups too."

This message seems to have permeated our local audience (in Saddleworth, 70% of our tickets for public performances are sold to groups without children).

Of course, we make the shows with kids in mind.  It's kinda pantomime's schtick.  But the honest truth is: children are not a particularly discerning audience.

Kids Being Easily Entertained
Photo by Dionehinchliff, CC by SA-2.0

I'm not saying kids don't know what they like - they obviously do.  Kids like bold characters, funny jokes, bright colours, slapstick, gunge - a good pantomime uses all of these elements.  However (and I'm sorry if this comes as a surprise to you) there are a lot of downright awful pantomimes out there, and most of them have all these elements too.

That's not to say that kids will like any old tosh.  It is certainly possible to make a show that kids don't like - I've seen a fair few pantos that fall into that category (OMG, you are really in trouble if you make a panto and even the kids don't like it!)

But the problem with making shows 'for kids' is that it demands you meet only the lowest of standards.  

Who cares that the Uglies were wearing old rags, did you hear all the kids shouting 'boo' when they tore up the invite?  

Who cares that the plot didn't make any sense, did you hear all the kids sing along to Baby Shark? 

Who cares that Wishee-Washee has no discernible character arc, did you hear how loud the kids shouted "Watcha Wishee!" when he came on?

Kids don't care.

Who cares?
Photo by radarsmum67; CC by 2.0

Does anyone care?

Adults care.  At least they should.  Up and down the country, adults attend truly terrible pantos for all kinds of spurious reasons ranging from guilt to tradition. 

By contrast: good pantos are enjoyed by everyone: kids and adults alike.

Not only is it good art, it's good business.

Remember, adults buy tickets, children do not.  The big panto in town might be 'good for kids', but if mum and dad love the panto down the road, then down the road is where they'll be heading.

Also - not every family has young children.  If your business model relies on pester-power to get bums on seats, you've excluded a large potential customer base.  Furthermore, even families who have young kids, don't have young kids forever - kids grow up, and once they do, shows 'made for kids' lose all of their pulling power.

Demographic shift is coming.  Families are getting smaller; audiences are getting older - and these trends are only becoming more pronounced.  Even if pantomime's were supposed to be shows for kids (which they aren't, but hey ho...) the relative customer base is declining, which is why the smart money's on companies who can diversify what they're offering to meet the evolving requirements of the market share they've established.

The UK's Aging Population

How to tell if your panto is crap

So you've put on a panto.  You've sold a few tickets, some programmes, the odd flashing sword and a fairy's wand or two.  You saunter round the bar at the interval... everybody seems happy enough.  But then again, you remember, it's Christmas - people are always happy at Christmas.  Maybe they're just glad they're off work tomorrow.   Doubts creep in.  

You decide to get some quick audience feedback.  You smile and approach a young mum.  "Are you having a nice time?" you ask.

She smiles and replies - maybe not quite as effusively as you would have liked.  Of course, you were probably hoping for something quite clear and direct, such as: "OMG, WOW!" or perhaps "Watching Act 1 of this play has been a key, seminal moment in my life."  So now you're left trying to pick through her words to parse what she really feels.

Here's a handy quick guide to help you translate:

WHAT THEY SAY: "It's really great.'

WHAT THEY MEAN: "Well done. You've made a good panto."

WHAT THEY SAY: “The kids are loving it.” 

WHAT THEY MEAN: “The panto is crap, but the kids are too young to realise.” 

WHAT THEY SAY: “My eldest's a bit old for panto.” 

WHAT THEY MEAN: “A 12 year old can see that the panto is crap.” 

 

WHAT THEY SAY: “I just like watching the kids enjoying themselves” 

WHAT THEY MEAN: “The panto is so crap, I would literally rather watch other members of the audience than the performance’."

 

WHAT THEY SAY: “There were loads of kids in the audience” 

WHAT THEY MEAN: “The panto is so crap, local people now take it in turns to chaperone each other’s kids so they can have a year off.” 

 

WHAT THEY SAY: “My favourite bit was where you got the kids up on stage."

WHAT THEY MEAN: ”The pantowas crap, but you saved it with a good song sheet."

Doing something better

The first step towards recovery is admitting you have a problem.  

Don't panic.  You're not alone!  Trust me, I see dozens of pantos every year - loads of pantos are crap.  The good news is, they don't have to be.  Despite what you may been led to believe, it is not beyond the wit of man to write a show that simultaneously contains enough slapstick, gunge and puns to entertain a child, whilst also including enough character comedy, tension and jeopardy to entertain an adult.

How?

That's a trade secret, one that I share only with the few select people who actually read my blog... 

... get ready...

... here it comes... 

... the trick is...

...

... instead of regurgitating any old nonsense, write something genuinely entertaining.  And by that I mean: entertaining for an actual, discerning grown-up.  

I know what I'm about to say might seem totally crazy, but trust me, it totally works.  If you write something so funny it makes grown-ups laugh, kids will laugh at it too!  I know right?  Who knew!  

And it's not just for jokes either - if you write something that's genuinely moving - in the sense that it engenders pathos in an actual, discerning adult, the very same scene will move the kids too!  

Ditto for tension.  

Ditto for catharsis.  

Ditto for dramatic irony.  

IN FACT, it turns out that to make a good kids show, all that you really need to do is make a good show and then let the kids watch it!  

So now you know.  Remember: mum's the word!  It's a trade secret.  Don't spread it around, or everyone will start making good pantos, and we wouldn't want any of that!

Mum's the Word
Photo by Simon_music; CC by 2.0

Has Panto Lost the Plot?

The Ineffable Wisdom of Nigel Ellacott

Two weeks ago I attended the first pantomime symposium hosted by UKPA and Staffordshire University. The day was split into three panels, and during the second panel, entitled: In the Spotlight - Performers’ Perspectives, panto favourite Nigel Ellacott (who last year was awarded the UKPA lifetime achievement award) was invited to reflect on what he felt had changed during his long and lauded career. His reflections prompted a lot of back and forth amongst the panel about feisty princesses and principal boys, and amongst all the constructive debate, he made one more reflection: “I’m sure panto used to have more of a plot.” 

NB the quote marks are merely aesthetic. I’m almost certainly paraphrasing, but I hope you’ll forgive me… the official transcript is yet to be published, and I’m working from handwritten notes. Amid the throng of lively debate, it was a blink and you’ll miss it moment. But it was a comment that resonated so strongly with my own experience that I heard it as loudly as if he were striking a gong. 

To my mind, this singular observation, encapsulates panto’s biggest problem. Moreso than any of the more topical issues that generate headlines and animate practitioners. This is the gigantic elephant in the room: panto has lost the plot. 

If it is to stand any chance of redemption, we must first understand two things: how did this happen and why? 

Damning Evidence 

If there’s one thing panto-people are good at, it’s singing their industry’s praises. You can barely skulk round a theatre in December without hearing someone Trot (sic) off a verse of “Panto is a great British Christmas tradition. It pays for the rest of the theatre’s annual programme” followed by a few rousing choruses of “Hallelujah! Panto is a child’s first experience of theatre.” 

A traditional, first experience of live theatre

 Some of the most evangelical proselytisers may end up as unwitting victims of their own boosterism. I have often been told that pantomime is the most popular form of theatre in Britain. (For the record: it’s not. It’s fifth. Comedies, musicals and kids shows all draw bigger crowds, and top-of-the-list Drama attracts more than twice as many audience members annually.) 

Every year, somewhere between 11-13% of the UK population watch at least one panto. Across the country, that adds up to millions, but the corollary of this is the fact that the vast, vast majority of people who live in the UK don’t watch a panto and have no plans to start any time soon. 

I talk to lots of people about panto, including lots of people outside the rarefied circles of pantomime-devotees. From members of the general population, of course I hear a range of responses, but the response I hear most frequently is “I don’t like panto.” 

You can try to explain how your shows are different until you go blue in the face but, most times, remonstrations fall on deaf ears. Panto-refuseniks are often as dogged in their recalcitrance as fanatics are with their praise. Most punters don’t need to get their fingers burnt too many times before they shy away from the fire. 

It’s hard not to sympathise. There are a lot terrible pantos out there, I’ve watched them. Chances are, if you watch enough pantos, you too will start to question whether you really like them or not. 

So what’s going wrong and how has it happened? 

The first thing to realise is that the label “panto” is attributed fairly liberally to a fairly wide range of show styles. You’d have a very different audience experience watching the Rock and Roll panto in Mold than you would watching the circus panto at the Blackpool Tower. 

Variety acts, celebrity names, production values, actor-musicians, comedy, plot, audience participation - opinions on what makes a good panto good are as diverse as the genre itself. There’s no accounting for taste. 

But once again, it bears repeating, only: 11-13% of people are satisfied enough with the current offer to come back year on year. These people aren’t the reason panto isn’t more popular, they’re the reason it isn’t already dead. More than half of the UK theatre-going population won’t go and see a pantomime. There are millions of people buying tickets for plays who love musical theatre, who do not like pantomime.  If we are to make panto better, we must understand why and improve our offer. 

The Difference between Pantos and Plays 

Ask the man on the street what a pantomime is, he’ll probably describe it as some form of play. Indeed, from the perspective of an audience member, going to their local theatre to watch a play feels very similar to watching the pantomime. You use the same website to buy your ticket, you sit in the same auditorium, buy the same ice-cream, watch actors perform on the very same stage. Yet, the similarity of consumer experience belies crucial fundamental differences between the two. 

Besides pantomime and musical theatre, very few “straight plays” command enough of an audience to make their production commercially viable. The continued success of the UK theatre industry is predicated on the vast central subsidy, primarily through Arts Council England (ACE). ACE funds theatres, artists, and artistic projects to the tune of tens of millions of pounds a year.  These funds pay the wages of full time and freelance staff, without whom, most theatres would not be able to function. This is evidenced by the recent reallocation of ACE funding that precipitated the failure of the Oldham Coliseum.

The recently defunct Oldham Coliseum
Photo by Dancewear Central

 New plays are made when producing theatres commission playwrights. Playwrights typically work as freelance artists, building a reputation based on the quality of their portfolio of work and reviews from their previous shows. It is common for professional playwrights to have some form of professional training. This might be from an HE establishment (e.g. RADA), a professional course (e.g. Royal Court Young Writer’s Scheme) or through work placement at a partner organisation. But even highly skilled playwrights with excellent portfolios may struggle to work continuously. Competition for commissions is high. 

Once commissioned to write a play, the playwright will communicate with and be informed by a representative of the theatre (usually a director or dramaturg). These interactions might be fairly light touch (e.g bouncing ideas back and forth over email); or more formal and collaborative (table reads, feedback, rewrites etc). 

Every day, up and down the country, playwrights and theatres are engaging in processes with the end goal of realising a written script as live entertainment. 

However, this is only sometimes true when it comes to pantomimes. 

Pantomimes are commercial theatre. In many cases, individuals who put on pantomimes do so at their own expense in the hope of making a profit. In the pursuit of profit, producers may seek to economise, and one way of doing this is to cut out the playwright and save yourself paying for performance rights. 

How can you make a panto if you cut out the playwright? 

There are several ways: you can write it yourself, or you can mush together bits of scripts you already have, you can get the actors to devise something, or any combination of these. It’s not uncommon for day 1 of a panto rehearsal to include the director going through what’s turned up from the hire company and working out what they want to do with it. Nor is it uncommon for the SM to spend the two weeks of rehearsal furiously making props in the wings for “bits” that the actors have thought up during rehearsal. 

Can you gather a company of actors and devise a great show? Of course! (Kneehigh, anyone?!) Do there exist theatre producers who can also write a great show? History is littered with examples (William Something-spear comes to mind). Is that what is happening in most pantomimes? Maybe 11-13% of them? 

 

10 COMMON PANTO CRIMES AGAINST GOOD WRITING 

• The ugly sisters choose a boyfriend and never reference them again.
• Characters turn up in new locations for no discernible reason.
• Cut and paste last year’s stock characters, just change the name.
• Songs with irrelevant lyrics, sung for no reason.
• Divorcing the comic trio entirely from the plot.
• Get kids to shout out if anyone goes near the present. Present is never opened and is removed in the interval set change.
• Writing in "funny jokes", instead of funny scenes.
• Start off by putting in 12 days of Christmas, ghost gag, Two Ronnies, Chocolate bars in a shopping cart, Slosh scene, kiss on the wall sketch, fall over pull down the curtain bit, variety act. Squeeze the plot into 10 one minute scene changes infront of the show cloth.
• Villains are evil for no reason. Then they magically become good.
• Completely omit any sense of jeopardy. No action has any purpose. Nobody faces any consequences. 

At the very minimum can we all make a pact to eradicate these 10 panto crimes? 

 

Doing Something Better 

So, you’re going to make better panto, what should you do? 

If you’re a venue: hire a playwright. 

If you’re writing a panto, invest in your skills. If you’re new to writing, get some professional training. Join a writer’s group. Read some books about dramaturgy. I don’t think anybody should write a play without first reading David Ball’s extraordinarily pithy dramaturgical how-to guide, Backwards and Forwards: A technical manual for Reading Plays. Also, I’d like to make a big shout out to Paul Sirret for his excellent book The Playwright’s Manifesto published last year. 

I work on panto scripts the same as I do on “serious plays”. There are as many ways to approach writing as there are playwrights, but here are the four steps I take on my way to getting words on paper.

 1. World Building. 

Where are we? How does the world work? What are the prevailing forces that govern the way that the story unfolds? 

e.g. Our Sleeping Beauty (2019) takes place in a palace where royalty are surrounded by wealth. It’s natural to interrogate how this affects the people that live there. Are they callous and jaded? Pompous and out of touch? Profligate? Avaricious? Spoiled? The flip side of money being no object: everything is affordable, but nothing is valued. 

Unimaginable wealth and the people it breeds
Sleeping Beauty, Market Drayton 2019. The Big Tiny (photo by Howard Barlow)

 

2. Develop the characters. 

Who does the world affect most? Or in a peculiar way? What makes them tick? How do they relate to each other? What challenges could they face? How will their actions affect their circumstance and vise versa? 

e.g. In our recent Aladdin (2022) the action is centred around the Twankey’s squalid favela. The city is constrained by vast inpenetrable walls, fencing the characters in, and keeping the real world out. I developed characters that I could use to explore this world and interrogate the different ways people are shaped by their geography. Jasmine wants to escape from her family, Aladdin wishes to go back home. Widow Twankey refuses to leave her shanty, the genie has a round the world plane ticket but is bound to the lamp. Wishee-Washee collects holiday brochures he can’t read and fantasises about going on holiday while jet setting Abanazar traverses the world by plane, by boat, by camel and doesn’t think anything of it. 

Characters stories are shaped by their circumstances
Aladdin, Saddleworth 2022. The Big Tiny (Photo by Howard Barlow)

 

3. Structure the plot. 

Give every character an arc: a problem to deal with, a test they must face, an opportunity to grow and develop. Know where all the pivotal moments will come, and put them in an order that leads the audience on an emotional journey. 

e.g. In Robin Hood (2021) I wrote an arc for Will Scarlett in which he fixes a talent show to win a box of chocolates. In Act 1, we see Will practise, putting up posters, preparing his costume, as well as jealously guarding the chocolates from the peckish merry men. All this means that by the time we get to the contest in Act 2, the audience are fully invested in Will’s success, sharing his elation as he reads out first place, and his devastation when the sheriff steals the chocolates. 

Will Scarlett's very clear narrative arc
Robin Hood, Huddersfield 2021. The Big Tiny

 

4. (ONLY NOW!) – Write in the words.  

Let the humour and pathos come out of the characters. 3-Dimensional characters speak for themselves. Make sure you give each individual their own sound. Pay attention to rhythms, cadence, pause and word choice. E.g. Stock characters always sound the same. Well developed characters have a voice that is rooted firmly in their world. Notice how different these three fairies sound:

Cupid:               "Gosh, what an absolutely gorgeous bunch of people you are.   You are!  Have a look around.  Absolutely fabulous.  Smashing.  Look at your outfit!  Gorgeous.  And yours.  Loving your hair.  Yeah, it’s fab.  And all the gents, you’re all gorgeous as well.  I mean, phwaor, totally stunning."

From Rumpelstiltskin 2023

 

Bree-Anne:      Alright Huddersfield, ‘ow do?
Fairy Bree-Anne welcomes you
Come one and all souls good and honest
Take refuge here in Sherwood Forest

How you doing?  You alright?

‘ere, this forest’s night life’s banging
Since the merry men’s been ‘anging
Round about with Robin Hood,
It’s done Nottin’ham t’world o’ good.                    

 From Robin Hood 2021

 

Mary:   Huzzah!  Hip, hip hooray!  Yippee! 
It’s not a shooting star, it’s me! 
Fairy Mary is my name 
I heard a wish and whoosh, I came 

Snatching up my magic wand 
I’ve left my home in clouds beyond 
Flitting through existences 
In my fairy wings from Marks and Spencer’s                    

 From Jack and the Beanstalk 2019

A New Era

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.  The first year of our Saddleworth panto, we attracted just under 10% of the local population.  We struggled to sell the school shows, and sales were thin on the ground until after we opened... a case of potential audience members keeping their powder dry.

Every year we have come back with a story driven, well-written play.  Yes, it's a panto, it has a dame speech, a boyfriend, a ghost gag (not every year), lazzi, preposterous costumes, songs... but it also has character arcs, a superobjective, jeopardy, pathos and truth. 

Far from putting off the traditional panto audience, we've brought them with us.  Year on year we have grown our audience until last year we attracted 20% of the local population.  That's all the panto lovers, plus an extra seven percent of previous "refuseniks."  And the better news... sales are already up for Rumpelstiltskin 2023.

To Albert Einstein is oft attributed the quote "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result." We can grow panto and reach out to a wider audience, but only if we start doing something different.

It's time to start writing a new future for our industry.  The future's bright.  The future's panto.