How I secretly spent ££££££ of government money so pantomime could save the world

THE PRODUCER'S PARADOX

It was 2018, and we had just finished building the giant for Jack and the Beanstalk.  It was enormous.  We had started building it in the lean-to but had to move it into the kitchen when we could no longer squeeze round it to fit the costume.  With the gargantuan body completely covering our dining room table, the only available surface to put the head on was the kitchen counter.  We had to reach around it to scramble eggs.

Bertrand the Giant Bully in our very first panto

Although we had both made theatre shows before, and Will had been in a few pantos as an actor, we had never made a panto before.  It was so exciting.  

We had ambitiously scheduled 28 performances and, once word got round, it sold really well.  You couldn't get a ticket by the end of the run.  We were super proud. 

But even without paying ourselves for sewing the costumes, building the set, writing the script, we barely broke even.   

It turns out, it's hard to make a profit in a house with a capacity of 160.  

The next year we rented a room at the top of a mill and bought ourselves an overlocker.  We couldn't afford to buy or rent anything, so instead we spent months making costumes and set.  We even had a light up portal.  It felt like a real step up.  

We put on more shows, sold more tickets, and made just about enough to buy an industrial sewing machine.

Each year the shows got bigger and better with more performances, grander costumes, wigs and sets,  more ambitious illusions and sequences.  Little by little,  with the support of the venues, our friends and collaborators (you know who you are!), we built our company until this year we produced 124 performances of 3 shows across 4 venues and sold at 88%, 97%, 72% and 94% capacity. 

Aladdin 2023
at The Met, Bury

Rumpelstiltskin 2023
at Festival Drayton and the Millgate Arts Centre

Alfie the Elf 2023
at the Bolton Octagon

AND....

🥁

DRUMROLL...

🥁

...

🥁

We broke even!

🥁

The problem is: as the shows have grown, so has the whole operation that underpins it.  Nowadays we operate from a 3000 sq ft workshop with industrial racking stacked with sets and puppets, a flying carpet, industrial tools, a hoard of 800 costumes... we even have a separate lock up with the Robin Hood set from Salisbury in it.

The Robin Hood set from Salisbury would not have fitted in our kitchen!

I can barely believe  how much stuff we've accumulated - really good quality stuff as well - that's just sitting there.  

"If only we could turn it into some kind of income," I pondered...

TWO TYPES OF PANTO COMPANY

There are two types of panto companies.  Companies that make and companies that rent.  We make.  It's the only way we could afford our production values.  

Look up any panto company that makes it's own stuff and 9 times out of 10 they'll have a page on their website that says something like:

We have sets and costumes available to hire.  If you're interested in renting from us, please send an email to producer@pantocompany.com

Which is OK, if you know who they are, what they've got and what you need.  

"We should do that," we agreed.  Then we daydreamed of  something a little bit grander:

    Something Grander by The Big Tiny (excerpt)

                  

           Act 1: Scene 1

Ben:     Wouldn't it be great if it had browsable pictures of all the stock?

Will:     Yes... and it kept track of what's going where - 

Ben:     - and it was integrated with a merchant portal so people could hire it online?

                   Pause.  Ben and Will look at each other. 

Will:     How much would that cost?

Ben:     I don't know.  I'll find out. 

 

Phones software developers.

Ben:     Tens of thousands of pounds.

Will:    We don't have any money.

Both:    Bugger.

                    Exit, pursued by a bear. 

I knew we weren't the only people in our position.  Other producers I've hired to/bought from all say the same: we've got lots of stuff that we made for productions but we can't use again because now once you've staged a show at all of your venues you've got to wait 6 years before you can do the same title again.  And it's not just producers - we have plenty of mates who play dame paying hundreds of pounds for a lock-up to house their collections of costumes and wigs.  Every year, up and down the country, we're all ending up with more and more stuff, and nobody knows what to do with it.

• It's wasteful
• It's expensive to store
• It's a missed opportunity 

Of course, we'd all love our own hires portal, one that catalogues all of our stock, that lets other professionals browse though and hire from us - if someone else had one, you'd have a nose through, wouldn't you?  Maybe they've got something amazing that you could hire... it would be cheaper than making it...  and quicker.

A pipe dream.  I mean... where would you even begin?

GOVERNMENT FUNDING

In January 2023, we teamed up with a software developer and registered a new company with the sole purpose of making an industry-wide platform for theatre professionals to hire stock between themselves.  Our aim was to provide a user-friendly tool that enables greener theatre production by connecting creatives and pooling our resources.

Supported by significant funding from the UK Research and Innovation Council, we have spent the past year doing just that.  The platform is called:

and we are launching it on Monday, 15th January.

It's been a labour of love to get everything ready, but ready it is.

Currently it works through a website (the app is still in development), but professional theatre practitioners can sign up for free at: 

www.pursuedbybear.co.uk

and as of tomorrow new users will be able to upload their stock, browse other people's stock, check availability and hire.

The portal is point and click so it's easy to use (if you can use eBay, you can use Pursued By Bear).  You can search using keywords, sizes, character, available dates etc...

Oh - and if you're worried about hiring your stock to the great unwashed - don't worry, we've set up a vetting procedure, so you can be sure that the people you're hiring your precious costumes to are legitimate practitioners and not someone on a stag-do. 

As is the case with all these things, somebody has to be first, so I got a few of our fantastic actors in, hired a photographer and spent a couple of days snapping away in our workshop.

  

I uploaded my stock onto the portal last week (big shout out to Ian and Nancy who have been helping test the site and the processes!). As of tomorrow, if you fancy a nose around The Big Tiny's stockroom, you can do so at your leisure: bonus points to anybody who hires something!

Here's a sneak peak of some of our catalogue.

You don't have to have your stock professionally photographed to get going.  If you want to dip your toe in, just get your phone out, snap a few items you think might be popular, upload them, and see how you do.

Registering, uploading your stock and browsing the portal is all entirely free.  The costs of the portal will be covered from a charge on completed transactions.

You can read all about the company and our mission as well as answering any FAQs about the platform at www.pursuedbybear.co.uk, where you can also sign-up to our newsletter available now.  As ever, if you've got any questions, please ask.

Alternatively, you can connect with us on all the socials by clicking on the following logos:

As the platform grows, we hope that Pursued By Bear will become a go-to resource for theatre makers.  

It's taken a Herclulean effort to get everything sorted, especially while trying to keep it hush-hush, so I can't wait for tomorrow's launch... 

You're going to really enjoy the platform.  

I am certain that this is the tool we all need to diversify our income streams and ensure more sustainable production practices.  

A bonus photo of me as a starfish!
(matching socks not available for hire)

Defending Aladdin: The Argument for Diversity and Inclusion

“Multiculturalism makes no demands of the incomer to integrate.  It has failed because it allowed people to come to our society and live parallel lives in it … And, in extreme cases, they could pursue lives aimed at undermining the stability and threatening the security of society.”

Stella Braverman (victim of autocorrect), 2023

EXCLUSIVE pantoblog make-your-own Stella Braverman bookmark template

It's the quote that everyone in politics wants to talk about.  No sooner had The Bravermeister spouted her talking points, tory MPs have put in formal complaints to the chief whip, the former Home Secretary and the Prime Minister have distanced himself from her comments and even the Bishop of Leicester is having a go at her!

Deary me, Stella... you know you're in political hot water when the Church of England AND the Conservative Party are briefing against you!

Of course, electorally the whole debacle is political genius.  The fear that multiculturalism is undermining indigenous British culture is far from a fringe view (This now out of date article cites the finding that 40% of UK residents surveyed agree with this position).  Having senior cabinet members playing both sides of the issue allows the party to hoover up votes from both camps.

Whatever your position, at least we can all agree that there IS such a thing as indigenous British culture, and panto is definitely part of it.

Last week I gave a talk at Staffs Uni about patterns of ethnic diversity relating to submission for panto auditions.  Honest, guv... here's the picture to prove it:

Voted best looking presenter 2023, Staffs Uni (Pantomime Casting category)

I got the train down, and got chatting to the guy sat opposite me.  His name was Mohammed, he was 40 years old and his mum and dad had immigrated to the UK from Pakistan after the partition of India and settled in the Wirral (why would anyone settle in the Wirral?  Not even Mohammed knew that!)  We had a lot in common - apart from both having lived within 3 miles of Birkenhead, we'd both moved to London and then moved back up North.  Presumably because everyone in the North is friendly, down-to-earth and incredibly attractive, where-as Londoners are rich and in a hurry.

"How long were you down South?" I asked.

"Eight years," answered Mohammed.

"Blimey, I can't believe it took you that long to realise it's better up North," I jibed.

"Well, it is now," he replied.

NOW?!  I was gobsmacked.  Surely this was sacrilege.  The North has always been better than the South!  What did he mean?

Luckily he explained... 

"When I was a kid, we were the only non-white family around.  I felt like I didn't fit in.  I preferred it in London because I had friends and family there - people who looked like me.  However, the Wirral has changed a lot since I first moved away.  Now, there are loads of people from all over the place.  It feels more multicultural.  I prefer it."

Britain is changing

Unless you've just arrived on the island, chances are you remember a Britain that is less diverse than it is today, and in a few years time, you will be living in a Britain that is even more ethnically diverse.

Census data for England and Wales shows that, from 2001 to 2021 the percentage of people in the white British ethnic group went down from 87.5% to 74.4%

Of interest to anyone thinking of staging Aladdin in China, in the same period, the proportion of the population that self identify their ethnicity as Chinese went up from 0.4% of the population in 2001 to 0.7% of the population in 2021 (445,646 souls in total).

It's a bit trickier to backtrack further than this, as the categorisation of ethnicity by the census changes.  This breakdown by Manchester University shows that since 1991 the proportion of the UK population that is not white has doubled from roughly 7% to 14% today, but this is the first year that the census has a well-defined question about ethnicity.

Immigration is not a new phenomenon.  This website shows some great photos of UK residents with a wide range of ethnicities from as far back as the turn of the 20th century.  But, these cases are notable because of their rarity.  The trend is clear: the slice of the UK population that is white and UK-born is getting slimmer.

So what does that mean for panto?  What does it mean for Aladdin?

Well, it depends on who you ask.

Some people love a traditional Aladdin.

- Someone with excellent taste in panto

Other people think that Aladdin should be retired completely.

Feeling Yellow

As Britain diversifies, so too will theatre audiences.  If panto is to survive into the next century, it will need to connect with next century's audience... an audience that will likely look very different to today's.

One paper I read that I found really enlightening was from an Asian-American writer describing how reading through a Broadway programme put her on edge:

“I felt anxious as I waited for the actors to enter the stage so that I could locate identity in their faces, a reductive yet routine way of deducing race. Anxiety turned into dismay, as I registered a white actor embodying one of the Flying Lings. Instead of donning bronzer and eye prostheses, the more blatant markers of yellowface, he matched the other performers in wearing black changshan with yellow-gold trim. Relying upon the costumes to do the labor of signifying Asianness, the production gave the performers greater ease to put on and take off racialized markers.” 

Donatella Galella, Feeling Yellow: Responding to Contemporary Yellowface in Musical Performance  

Of course, that's America.  Thank goodness things are different over here.  

Aren't they?

Hilarious: Even though this image was generated by AI, I'm sure that I recognise the actors

 

One prominent voice in UK theatre protesting against Yellowface is Daniel York Loh.  He describes 

"A friend recently attended Aladdin with his niece at a regional theatre and was shocked  and upset by the sight of Caucasian cast members in 'yellow face' - full-on Chinese costumes and make-up.  Like me, my friend is of Chinese descent.  Another Asian friend of mine walked out of another production of Aladdin in a different regional theatre because he felt the content was racist.  He was even targeted from the stage as he was leaving the theatre - he and his young son were the only non-white people in the audience."

Daniel York Loh, 2018

REALLY?  I mean, maybe in the 80s... when people did the Chinese language test and the funny voice and the yellow make-up.   But TWO nearly identical occasions of people feeling like they had to walk out?  As someone who doesn't have people walk out of their shows - it seems to stretch credulity.  Seriously, how bad are other people's pantos?

I had to investigate...

I read a dozen commercially available scripts for Aladdin.  They're not necessarily the most performed, or ones from the biggest theatres, but all the scripts I reviewed have been/are being performed somewhere in the UK and they are all being hired out for money.  

And err...

Ahem...

I hate to disappoint you all, but I gotta agree with DYL.

If the scripts that I've read are anything to go by, I would walk out of most Aladdin's.  It's not that the scripts are racist per se.  It's more that they are crap.

I'm not going to embarrass anyone by name.  But if you have written a script of Aladdin and want to try and figure out if I've read it or not, here is a handy list:

Generic Asian image 

5 Ways to tell if your script of Aladdin is Crap (IMHO)*

• It is simultaneously set in China, Tibet, Arabia and India as though these are all one country,
• Wishee Washee is described as a <insert Chinese food> short of a take-away, several times, just with different foods,
• Instead of jokes that are related to the plot, characters just name things that are Chinese,
• The characters names are types of food, or references to testicles, despite the fact that it has nothing to do with their characters.  They may even have different names in different scenes!
• Somebody sings Kung Fu Fighting even though the scene has nothing to do with Kung Fu

*(If you think the portrayal of Chinese people is problematic... you'll be floored at the depictions of women!)

I'm not Chinese and I was cringing.  No wonder people are walking out!  

"When encountering non-Asians masquerading as Asians in yellow face in twenty-first-century stage musical performances, I feel righteously angry, profoundly sad, and racially alienated."

Donatella Galella, ibid. 

People don't like to feel left out.  They like to be included.  If you are making a panto that doesn't make people feel included, not only are you likely to get bawled out on X née Twitter, you aren't doing yourself any favours at the box office.

Of course, you don't have to set it in China.  Andrew Jackson's script ditches the Emperor of China in favour of a General of Pantoland.  If you aren't sold on that, another clever idea comes from Dave Crump's very competent NODA script who does set the plot in China, but casts the characters as Brits:

"Wishee: If this is Peking Mom, how come none of us are Chinese? 

 

Twankey: China is the fastest growing country in the world, lots of Brits moved here, it’s practically full of people from Sutton Coldfield."

Dave Crump,  great script!

These approaches may not be traditional but the scripts are good! 

Does that mean we can't set Aladdin in China?  No.  But we can't use 'tradition' as a smokescreen for churning out the same old, tired crap.  It's lazy, it's otherising and if nothing else: it's boring.

Generic image of writing specifically

5 Ways to do Something Better

• Do your research,
• Be specific, ("Oriental" or "Asian" is not a homogenous melting pot)
• Write characters, not stereotypes
• Write your own jokes about what's going on in the plot
• For the love of God, just call the policemen something else other than Prawn and Cracker... if you can't think of anything better, you can have my idea: PC World and Sergeant Pepper.  No copyright, you're welcome.

Well, that's my twopennethworth.  I suppose I'll see you all in the comments section, and I'll give the last word to DYL

"Nobody’s looking to dumb down panto. By acknowledging and taking into account the cultural melting pot that is modern Britain, I would argue that we’re asking it to be more appreciative of complex racial and societal nuance."

Daniel York Loh, 2018

 

Les Dennis Miserables

HUGE NEWS: Les Dennis will be appearing in Aladdin in Northwich this Christmas!  

I know because a local producer, (let's call them Producer X), tweeted about it this week. 

 

The tweet showed three of the actors in the upcoming cast. All three of them white.  

 

Despite Producer X's best efforts to point out that the rest of the cast is yet to be announced (including the titular role of Aladdin), the whiteness of the actors in the image ruffled sufficient feathers that the original message was retweeted over 100 times. 

 

Not replied to, mind you: retweeted. 

 

Over 100 people felt so aggrieved by the fact that all the actors shown in the tweet were white, that they felt they deliberately pushed the Tweet to more people (accompanied by a short message that made their outrage clear). 

 

“If you can’t cast Aladdin appropriately, DO ANOTHER PANTO.” 

“It’s racist panto season AGAIN!” 

“How have they not got the message?” 

“DIDN’T THEY LEARN THEIR LESSON AFTER LAST YEAR?!” 

 

Now, I don’t want to cast aspersions on the good people of Twitter: if you’re going to sell someone an axe, you’ve got to let them grind it, but I struggle to imagine that they care very much about the Northwich pantomime. I would even go so far as to suggest that a limited number of them have likely ever seen the Northwich pantomime... nor perhaps even be able to point Northwich out on a map. 

 

The retweets were not aimed at helping Producer X improve the quality of the panto offer, nor at the good people of mid-Cheshire who may be buying a ticket... they were aimed to demonstrate the depth of righteous outrage to one’s followers. 

 

I felt particularly sorry for Les Dennis who was '@'ed in with the comment “National treasure: not after this you’re not!” 

 

Poor Les!  

I love Les Dennis.  

He was brilliant in Port and Spring Wine at the Bolton Octagon. 

 

What was Producer X to do? He's already hired the actors: Les Dennis bought his MegaBus ticket to Northwich Bus station the same day he signed the contract! He's not going to relocate the narrative from Peking to Greater Manchester – he hasn't got the costume track. Instead, he did exactly what anyone else in his position* would do: he took the tweet down and hoped it would blow over. 

    * I thank my lucky stars that I’m not in this position.  We are staging Aladdin in Bury this year - we were super fortunate to audition and have our offers accepted by two supremely talented (and super lovely) performers from the global majority... in fact, the whole cast are amazing.  Why don't you buy a ticket and see for yourself?

 

It’s not a bad shout. Producer X has been a little unlucky to have his partial cast announcement blow up as it did.  The people who RTed aren’t checking daily for APB’s latest cast announcements. They saw it on somebody else’s feed and piled in. 

 

Don’t reply but run away and live to tweet another day. 

 

THE HYPOTHETICAL...

Twitter’s not a great forum to engage in nuanced debate. There are thought-provoking and legitimate questions to be asked about how we cast and produce titles like Aladdin. None of these can be effectively summarised in a sentence, no matter how pithy you are with a retweet. 

 

However, if I can, for a moment, shelve these legitimate questions, and in their stead proffer some examples of replies that could have been sent, but weren't:

 

 

APPETITE WHETTING TRAILER: 

 

For anyone who is interested in the big issues, the following deep dives will be winging their way to thepantoblog over the next few weeks: 

 

(1) the history of Aladdin,  
(2) Understanding and responding to legacy of colonialism and orientalism,  

(3) the causes and effects of evolving ideas of identity on contemporary casting practice,  

 

...SO KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED!